What an outstanding word.  Cattywampus.  Cat-tee-wam-pus.  I would work it into every sentence if I could, if it were cattywampus to do so.  That usage might have been a little cattywampus.

Words are potent.  Words carry power.  Words can transport you.  With so many goddamn words available in this astounding gift we call language, please strive to appreciate the nuances that each carries.  Realize the value of this craft which sets us apart from the animals.  Language.  Words.  Power.

Grammar’s nice.  It keeps us all moving in the same direction and prevents literary chaos.  But you know what?  I would choose a legion of unique chaotic wordslingers over a regime of mundane grammar Nazis any day.  Communicate, in whatever way best suits you, but stretch your mind when you do so, or you’ll bore the donkey shit out of everyone.

Having an expansive vocabulary is difficult.  There’s a great deal of reading required.  And some study.  And a host of oddball rules to follow.  And you have to care.  That’s really the hardest part, especially when settling is so much easier.  See Dick run.  Run Dick run.  Do me a favor and use your Dick outside of the box.  Vocabulary and word selection is its own reward.  Choosing the perfect word is not only empowering, but can be damn near transcendental.  You scoff now, but I’ve seen the truth of it.  Wield words as you should, and you will as well one day.

Don’t sell yourself short.  Give it a try.  There’s power in you.  Word power.  Eat a fucking dictionary if you have to, but bend the language to your will, and your world will never be the same.  It might even feel…a little cattywampus.

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